"The essence of Attachment Parenting is about forming and nurturing strong connections between parents and their children.
Attachment Parenting challenges us as parents to treat our children with
kindness, respect and dignity, and to model in our interactions with
them the way we'd like them to interact with others."
Because of the fact that attachment parenting and the 'crunchy' lifestyle go hand in hand for my family and my son's needs - I'll explain AP first. Before I start, I would like to make a small disclaimer:
{Some of my views may be a bit on the "strong" side. This is not meant to be demeaning to others who choose to parent differently than I do. I do not/will not judge another mothers parenting styles. Everyone's situation is completely different, and I respect that.}
ATTACHMENT PARENTING
While the roots of attachment parenting are in ancient tribal society and modern science, attatchment parenting has no script. It's all about trusting the baby and being responsive. It's practical and personal.
Yes, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, and baby wearing all foster secure attachment because they respond to the baby's need to be touched and held. But, these are NOT the practices of attachment parenting and attachment parenting itself is not a practice.
It is a philosophy.
I
like to think of attachment parenting as a beautiful tree, and like all
trees - there are branches we can hold onto as parents. Not every
branch is for everyone.
The seven principals are tools not a script.
Notice we use the term “tools” rather than “steps.” Tools are things you use to complete a job.
The better the tools, the easier and the better you can do the job. With tools you can
pick and choose which of those fit your personal parent-child relationship. Steps imply that you have to use all the steps to get the job done. That is not the case when practicing attachment parenting.
1.) BIRTH BONDING
Immediately after my son, Tristian was born, we practiced skin to skin. I wanted his heartbeat on mine. I wanted him to know my skin, touch, smell, and feel of his body against mine. That is where he was for the past nine months, right? It's all he knew and continued to know. His mother.
The way baby and parents get started with one another helps the early attachment unfold. The days and weeks
after birth are a sensitive period in which mothers and babies want to be close to one another. A close attachment
after birth and beyond allows the natural, attachment-needing behaviors of the infant and the caregiving qualities of the mother to come together. Both
members of this biological pair get off to the right start at a time
when the infant is most needy and the mother is most ready to nurture.
“What if something happens to prevent our immediate bonding?”
Sometimes medical complications
keep you and your baby apart for a while, just play catch-up. Easy as that. Birth bonding is not
like instant glue that cements the mother-child relationship together
forever. Bonding is a series of steps in your lifelong growing together
with your child. Immediate bonding simply gives the parent-infant
relationship a head start.
2.) BREASTFEEDING
Breastfeeding helps you read your baby’s cues and body
language, which is the first step in getting to know your baby. Breastmilk
contains unique brain-building nutrients that cannot be manufactured or
bought. Breastfeeding promotes the right chemistry between mother and
baby by stimulating your body to produce prolactin and oxytocin,
hormones that give your mothering a boost.
If you cannot breastfeed (like myself) it's OK! This is where the misconception's start. Just because you do not breastfeed does not mean you "aren't aloud" to practice attachment parenting. There are plenty of other ways to bond with your newborn, and do not beat yourself up because it wasn't for you. Trust me, your baby will be just as attached.
3.) BABY-WEARING
A baby learns a lot in the arms of a busy mother. Carried babies
fuss less and spend more time in the state of "quiet alertness" in which babies learn most about their environment.
Babywearing improves the sensitivity of the parents. Because your baby
is so close to you, you get to know baby better. Closeness promotes
familiarity.
I recommend a wrap or an ergo. Please do ALL your research before putting your beloved little in a crotch-dangler.
4.) BEDDING CLOSE TO BABY
Wherever all family members get the best night’s sleep is the right arrangement for your individual family. Co-sleeping adds a nighttime touch that helps busy daytime parents reconnect with their infant at night. Since nighttime is scary time for little people, sleeping within close touching and nursing distance minimizes nighttime separation anxiety and helps baby learn that sleep is a pleasant state to enter and a fearless state to remain in.
Tristian and I, have slept in the same bed together since he came home from the hospital. I would have slept with him in my hospital bed if I could. This was something my mother did with me, and something I wanted before even finding out I was expecting. It just works for us.
5.) BELIEF IN THE LANGUAGE VALUE OF YOUR BABIES CRY
A baby’s cry is a signal designed for the survival of the baby and
the development of the parents. Responding sensitively to your baby’s
cries builds trust. Babies trust that their caregivers will be responsive to their needs. Parents gradually learn to trust in
their ability to appropriately meet their baby’s needs. This raises the
parent-child communication level up a notch. Tiny babies cry to
communicate, not to manipulate.
6.) BEWARE OF BABY TRAINERS
Attachment parenting teaches you how to be discerning of advice, especially those extreme parenting styles
that teach you to watch a clock or a schedule instead of your baby; you
know, the cry-it-out crowd. This “convenience” parenting is a
short-term gain, but a long-term loss, and is not a wise investment.
These more restrained styles of parenting create a distance between you
and your baby and keep you from becoming an expert in your child.
7.) BALANCE
In your zeal to give so much to your baby, it’s easy to neglect the
needs of yourself and your relationships. As you will learn the key to
putting balance in your parenting is being appropriately responsive
to your baby – knowing when to say “yes” and when to say “no,” and
having the wisdom to say “yes” to yourself when you need help.
This is something that I have struggled with and continue to struggle with daily. It's very hard to balance being a loving girlfriend to my special one while being in mommy mode twenty four/seven. It's not easy, what so ever.
MORE ABOUT ATTACHMENT PARENTING:
- Attachment Parenting is a starter style. There may be medical or family circumstances why you are unable to practice all of these baby B’s. Attachment parenting implies first opening your mind and heart to the individual needs of your baby, and eventually you will develop the wisdom on how to make on-the-spot decisions on what works best for both you and your baby. Do the best you can with the resources you have – that’s all your child will ever expect of you. These baby B’s help parents and baby get off to the right start. Use these as starter tips to work out your own parenting style – one that fits the individual needs of your child and your family. Attachment parenting helps you develop your own personal parenting style.
- Attachment Parenting is an approach, rather than a strict set of rules. It’s actually the style that many parents use instinctively. Parenting is too individual and baby too complex for there to be only one way. The important point is to get connected to your baby, and the baby B’s of attachment parenting help. Once connected, stick with what is working and modify what is not. You will ultimately develop your own parenting style that helps parent and baby find a way to fit – the little word that so economically describes the relationship between parent and baby.
- Attachment Parenting is responsive parenting. By becoming sensitive to the cues of your infant, you learn to read your baby’s level of need. Because baby trusts that his needs will be met and his language listened to, the infant trusts in his ability to give cues. As a result, baby becomes a better cue-giver, parents become better cue-readers, and the whole parent-child communication network becomes easier.
Earthy Crunchy Mama
(urthee kruhn-chee mah-muh)
-noun,
earth·y crunch·y ma·ma
- a person who is environmentally, health, and socially conscious.
- a parent who fosters a strong, positive bond with their children through natural living.
What Is a Crunchy Mom? Crunchy? Granola? Green? Hippy? Whatever you want to call it, there are as many definitions for “crunchy mom” as there are moms. Unfortunately, the thing about labels is that they are not always very useful, especially when everyone has a different idea about what those labels represent. So, instead of telling you a crunchy mom does this or doesn't do that, let's define what a "crunchy mom" is to me.
A "crunchy mom" is one who is willing to go against the grain and do what is best for her child. She willingly does her own research for pregnancy and birth, breastfeeding and baby wearing, vaccines and solid foods. Because of her research and her dedication to give her baby the absolute best of everything, a "crunchy mom" may have a natural birth, practice extended breastfeeding, baby wearing, and baby led weaning. A crunchy mom will do her own extensive research regarding vaccines, if any, her child will receive. Crunchy moms normally practice attachment parenting, co-sleeping, and that allowing their child to cry it out, may do more harm than good. Crunchy moms children normally whip out kale chips as all the other children eat oreos. Personally, THIS crunchy mama eats gluten free and paleo, and it just so happens my child does too. Crunchy moms have a strength all their own, as they often have to pick their battles with friends and family over these issues. Crunchy moms support all moms, even if their opinions differ. They believe in encouraging every mom and they understand that each mom has different needs and even different beliefs. Personally, being a crunchy mom is about being flexible. Every day we learn something new and that something new that may change the way we parent as crunchy moms. As many have said before, if we know better, we do better.
A
crunchy mom is one who is willing to go against the grain and do what
is best for her child. She willingly does her own research for pregnancy
and birth, breastfeeding and baby wearing, vaccines and solid foods.
Because of her research and her dedication to give her child the
absolute best of everything, a crunchy mom may have a natural birth,
practice extended breast feeding, baby wearing, baby led weaning and
introducing solids at a later age. A crunchy mom will do her own
extensive research regarding vaccines and decide which ones, if any,her
child will receive. Crunchy moms understand attachment parenting, co
sleeping, and that allowing their child to cry it out may do more harm
than good. Crunchy moms have a strength all their own, as they often
have to pick their battles with friends and family over these issues.
Crunchy moms support all moms,even if their opinions differ. They
believe in encouraging EVERY mom and they understand that each mom has
different needs and even different beliefs. - See more at:
http://www.crunchymoms.com/what-is-a-crunchy-mom/#sthash.8VaASiCK.dpuf
A
mom who is environmentally, health, and socially conscious. She cares
enough about her family to question the status quo. She recognizes that
there are a variety of approaches to individual problems and refuses to
be locked into a single perspective. She seeks to learn more about why
things happen and tries to discover the root cause of the problems she
observes. - See more at:
http://www.crunchymoms.com/what-is-a-crunchy-mom/#sthash.8VaASiCK.dpuf
A
mom who is environmentally, health, and socially conscious. She cares
enough about her family to question the status quo. She recognizes that
there are a variety of approaches to individual problems and refuses to
be locked into a single perspective. She seeks to learn more about why
things happen and tries to discover the root cause of the problems she
observes. - See more at:
http://www.crunchymoms.com/what-is-a-crunchy-mom/#sthash.8VaASiCK.dpuf
Unfortunately,
the thing about labels is that they are not always very useful,
especially when everyone has a different idea about what those labels
represent. So, instead of telling you that a crunchy mom is someone who
does this or doesn’t do that, let’s define “crunchy mom” this way - See
more at:
http://www.crunchymoms.com/what-is-a-crunchy-mom/#sthash.8VaASiCK.dpuf
Unfortunately,
the thing about labels is that they are not always very useful,
especially when everyone has a different idea about what those labels
represent. So, instead of telling you that a crunchy mom is someone who
does this or doesn’t do that, let’s define “crunchy mom” this way: - See
more at:
http://www.crunchymoms.com/what-is-a-crunchy-mom/#sthash.8VaASiCK.dpuf
Unfortunately,
the thing about labels is that they are not always very useful,
especially when everyone has a different idea about what those labels
represent. So, instead of telling you that a crunchy mom is someone who
does this or doesn’t do that, let’s define “crunchy mom” this way: - See
more at:
http://www.crunchymoms.com/what-is-a-crunchy-mom/#sthash.8VaASiCK.dpuf
Unfortunately,
the thing about labels is that they are not always very useful,
especially when everyone has a different idea about what those labels
represent. So, instead of telling you that a crunchy mom is someone who
does this or doesn’t do that, let’s define “crunchy mom” this way: - See
more at:
http://www.crunchymoms.com/what-is-a-crunchy-mom/#sthash.8VaASiCK.dpuf
A
crunchy mom is one who is willing to go against the grain and do what
is best for her child. She willingly does her own research for pregnancy
and birth, breastfeeding and baby wearing, vaccines and solid foods.
Because of her research and her dedication to give her child the
absolute best of everything, a crunchy mom may have a natural birth,
practice extended breast feeding, baby wearing, baby led weaning and
introducing solids at a later age. A crunchy mom will do her own
extensive research regarding vaccines and decide which ones, if any,her
child will receive. Crunchy moms understand attachment parenting, co
sleeping, and that allowing their child to cry it out may do more harm
than good. Crunchy moms have a strength all their own, as they often
have to pick their battles with friends and family over these issues.
Crunchy moms support all moms,even if their opinions differ. They
believe in encouraging EVERY mom and they understand that each mom has
different needs and even different beliefs. - See more at:
http://www.crunchymoms.com/what-is-a-crunchy-mom/#sthash.8VaASiCK.dpuf







